Isn't this a weird post title? Well, it's more or less the absolute truth.
You see, I never had what I call the Princess Dream, that thing where as a young girl I'd imagine myself going through the aisle in white, and then reaching my Dream Guy and getting married to him to live Happily Ever After. I didn't imagine what the dress would look like, or the man, or the place we would live in. The whole thing seemed like a weird exercise to me and I was never able to go with it when friends did it. I just didn't get it.
In fact, after realising the whole ceremony was more or less about a male (in this case, the father) transferring his property (that would be me, the female) to another male, the feminist in me rebelled. "I'm not anyone's property and I'll never feed that absurd machine of fluff and ceremony!"
Well. You can see where this is going, right?
I kept on not having any ideas of matrimony, even after being in a great and stable relationship with my partner. The way we were was good enough for me, and I was also blessed with a family that never pressured me into "taking the next step" in our relationship. I was happy, why mess with a formula that was working?
One day, my other half phoned me to let me know he was on his way home. We chatted about this and that, and apparently one of his comments led me to make a joke on commitment. It was an interesting conversation that went something like this:
HIM: "That finger tattoo I did on you the other day, I'm very curious to see how it'll age."
ME (mockingly): "Well, stick around and you'll find out."
HIM: "You know what? I've had enough of this crap. For the last few months I've been trying to find the perfect occasion to pop the question and every time I get close to it you crack a joke and ruin the moment! Do you want to get married or not?!"
ME: "Wait. Whaaa? Are you asking me to marry you? Over the phone?!"
HIM: "F*ck yeah, it seems I'll never find the perfect occasion so this will have to do. Wanna marry?"
ME: "Er... okay. Sure." (I might have had a slight moment of hyperventilation.)
And that was that, we were engaged. There was no ring, no asking the father for permission (I'd kick him if he'd suggested this), no special ceremony to mark the occasion apart from a really long walk under pouring rain. In fact, I wouldn't be able to tell you when exactly this happened apart that it was Spring, and that it took us over two years to do the deed; this is exactly what you can expect from people like him and I, and we're perfectly fine with that.
We registered intention to marry last July, and had one year to get married before it expired. No worries, we have plenty of time, we said. Shall we do it this month, or next? We'll do it soon. Yeah, sometime in the next few weeks.
This obviously led to us not making any specific plans until we realised our time was almost up, and me running to the registrar's and telling them I needed to get married soonish, what dates did they have available? That conversation was sure interesting, and I wonder if anyone in the room imagined I was pregnant or desperate... We set the date for two weeks later, Summer Solstice.
We decided 5 days before the date we wanted rings, so I rushed to find some nice ones on Etsy. The day before the wedding I chose what I'd wear - I went for a pencil skirt and a black corset after asking for opinions on my social media. These were clothes I wore for goth parties in the past, the stuff I'd have close enough to merit being called "fancy." Would I have married in jeans and combat boots? Yes, yes I would, if my mood had gone in that direction.
A week before, we created an event on Facebook to let people know what was happening and where, and that whomever read it was invited. We knew not a lot of people would be able to be present at a Wednesday afternoon at such short notice, but again, we didn't mind.
And just like that, after a 20-minute ceremony I was someone's wife. No fuss, no transferring of property and no adding extra surnames to my already long, long name. It felt like home, arriving at a cozy destination.
The day after our wedding my (ahem) husband got ill with the flu. I'm very glad we decided to skip the whole honeymoon thing for later or we'd have a really fun time staying in the hotel room with tissues and medication...
After the ceremony we went to a nearby pub with our friends and had some drinks, caught up with everybody's business and then went back home. A simple event, surrounded by a few friends. Perfect.
If you read this far, I salute you. I bet reading about other people's weddings is a little like looking at friends' holiday pictures, or newborn babies...
Did you ever dream of getting married? What does that feel like? I'm honestly asking, so let me know in the comments section. Now off I go to enjoy how different my life has now become (not really)...
I completely forgot to add an interesting tidbit to this whole business! Here goes: at the moment of this writing, we're in a bit of a legal relationship limbo. You see, we're married in the UK, but until we let our embassy know we've gotten hitched, we're still officially single in Portugal! I've no idea about the rest of the world. You can imagine the jokes I've managed to extract over this... Got to love me some bureaucracy.